75% of people experience multiple breakups in their lifetime. Going through a breakup is definitely not one of the most pleasant experiences we have, so having as few of them as possible before finding “the one” would be nice. While sometimes the reasons we split are objective, there are still things that can be overcome to lead to that coveted happily ever after.
Bright Side did some research and uncovered some typical mistakes we make that ruin our romantic relationships.
1. Not living in the moment together
Spending quality time together is very important for a relationship. Couples that do this are more satisfied in their relationships. That’s because they share experiences that bring them closer together. But it’s important to remember that it’s quality time that matters over quantity. Lack of communication is one of the most important reasons for a breakup.
If you watch a movie together or just sit on the same couch all day but mind your own business the whole time, you don’t spend any quality time with one another. Try to do things that make you interact, like playing games or taking a walk together.
2. Getting used to your partner
The threat here is getting so used to everything good your partner does that you start taking it for granted. If they always keep the house clean, don’t just assume it’s part of the routine and not worth showing your daily appreciation for. Even though it’s always been like this, it still is a daily effort your partner makes for you.
A study revealed that people are very likely to break up with their partner if they start to feel underappreciated. The same applies to their personal qualities you fell in love with. Keep admiring them for their beauty, sense of humor, or kindness. Remember to continually appreciate it and keep showing affection to the fullest.
3. Avoiding being vulnerable
Vulnerability is what makes your connection with others possible. When you avoid it, you can have a hard time being open and trusting others, which is very important in intimate relationships. You don’t let people close enough to let them know you better. As a result, you remain very much strangers and fail to develop deep love and affection.
4. Not respecting boundaries
It might happen in a relationship that instead of 2 people, a “we” appears. It becomes hard to differentiate between you and your partner. You might also get so comfortable that you start mistaking your needs for your partner’s needs, breaking into their personal space.
Try not to be intrusive and respect your partner’s boundaries. Also, don’t take offense if their needs don’t match yours. Even though you’re close, you’re still 2 different people with separate sets of needs.
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5. Not taking care of yourself
Dissatisfaction with your partner’s personality is an important reason for a breakup. Keep in mind what person your partner fell in love with.
Over the years, you’ll inevitably change, but it doesn’t mean that you have to stop taking care of yourself as soon as you find a partner. Keep going to the gym, eat healthy, work on your personal growth, and whatever else you used to do before you found love.
6. Having low self-esteem
Low self-esteem is a big threat to a relationship. People who have low self-esteem often fear rejection and do whatever they can to protect themselves. They don’t believe that they’re good enough for their partner and don’t believe the partner can really love them. Because of this, they expect the relationship to end soon. Therefore, they try to prepare themselves for it and don’t contribute enough emotionally as well as constantly question their partner’s actions.
7. Avoiding conflict
It might seem like avoiding conflict actually prevents you from ruining your relationships. But that’s not true. If you avoid any conflict, it means that you hide your true feelings, ignore your needs, and store your frustration away because of it.
But you can’t live like that your whole life. In the end, you’ll get too frustrated and will just end it. Conflicts let your steam out and encourage communication. Your partner can’t read your mind, so you should speak up. This way, you can fix your problems together before it’s too late.
Have you ever made any of these mistakes? Are there some you’d like to add to our list?